Tuesday 10 February 2009

sorry seems to be the arsiest word

The BOF has enjoyed the company of Dennis Stevenson - he's a witty, clever, personable man. But when he sat before the select committee today (the one that's supposed to be putting these villainous bankers in the hot seat) he seemed to have misunderstood the meaning and usage of the word 'sorry'.

He talked of being "sorry at the turn of events"; he told us:"our shareholders, all of us, have lost a great deal of money, including, of course, a great number of our colleagues, and we're very sorry for that"; and he added: "We're sorry at the effects it's had on the communities we serve."

COME OFF IT, DENNIS, that's not an apology, that's a whinge. The translation reads thus: "I'm really pissed off that I and all the people I know have lost money, and it's a pity that civilians have been hurt in this as well." His words might be interpreted as having sympathy, but shouldering the blame and apologising they are not.

He is, of course, an ex-bank-boss. Tomorrow, those still in place will be getting their turn. Let's hope this one goes out live - it might just be the most entertaining TV of the month.

Tuesday 3 February 2009

cushioning the cold

As the snows melt and the BOF's gomish incredulity at the pathetic incompetence of the London transport system fades with them, a new sight will flow away from the parks.

We are now well aware that it is quite some time since we last had snow in this quantity. During this period, London's population has been swollen by the arrival of many foreigners, a substantial number of them coming from countries where heavy snow arrives every winter. The BOF is delighted to note that they have introduced us to some new ways of being creative with the white powdery stuff.

Shapes more familiar in parlours than parks have sprung up, some exquisitely crafted. So, without further ado, feast your eyes on the SNOWFA.

This first example is, or was, riddled with detail - cushions, covers, creases - the BOF even noticed a coffee stain.

The second, while lacking in refinement. makes up for it with completeness. Here you see not just a snowfa, but a full lounge set, including easy-chair, footstool and TV. 

Sightings from other parts of the capital have been trickling in all day. Favourite amongst these is the description of meticulously modelled life-sized statues-in-snow of two homeless people, lying on the ground with their arthritic ice-fingers wrapped around a can of wife-beater.

Does this mean the end of the winter market in carrots?