Jump in the front of a cheap plane to get to the performances

The BOF has been awoken from a long sleep by a terrible din in the ether. At first, it seemed to be the proprietor of Ryan Air stirring up the mud again, a moment later it sounded more like a collection of Time Out gig guides. Neither of these sources can be relied on, so the BOF turned over and went to sleep again.

Not for long.

The skirling of pipes was the next sound, intoning the old lament "The Injunction of Ryan McGiggs." This time, the BOF could keep his eyes closed no longer. It is an infectious tune, and in no time he was humming along.

The manuscript to the music is available, freely, at the Twitter music store, while the lyrics can be found on the Sunday Herald website - when it's up and running again. As of 8.17 this Monday morning, it has fallen over, probably under the assault of those unable to find the music store.

The BOF encourages all and sundry to join in with the national sing song.

5 go hunting

Strauss is looking cocky.
7 from the first, then a maiden.
Trash it up some more.
It'll turn, then.

644

23x7x2x2

Or

14

Or

5

Swann sings

The numbers now look silly.

Nos 10 & 11 get 20 off one over. It's comedy cricket.

Prior information

Bowlers in the runs, batsmen getting tons, and now the keeper scores!

Smith looks ten years older.

Prior does his 101!

BOF wonders whether even the Botham years felt quite like this, and the memory is: no, not quite...

Ashen

They look like zombies,these Australians with their protective creams. The walking dead down under show their true colours.

The BOF came back from the Emirates earlier, shaking his head. Watching MotD, he realised that (a)Hart made a save that was exceptional and (b)City were even worse than they looked in the flesh. But still, the Gunners didn't score. That winning thing wasn't there.

So it's no wonder that MotD didn't stay on for long. Moving on to Murdoch's wavelength, a winning team makes a Boring Old Supporter purr.

These ashes are deliciously warm.

a fitting (up) result

So Russia wins. That would be the country described yesterday as a virtual "mafia state" with widespread corruption, bribery and protection rackets.


Very appropriate. Septic and FIFA should get along with them just fine, and there won't be any irritating TV programmes telling people what they're up to. Oh dear me, no!