Tuesday 29 June 2010


It's in the BOF's nature to welcome new technology rather than dissing it. When Apple announced the iPad he was initially onside but soon started to wonder what it was for.

He now knows. It's for subterfuge. WAGs have long known that text messages are a man's worst friend. They sit in a phone, and the phone often sits away from its master because it is small and easy to forget for a moment. That would be the moment that the wife or girlfriend, the WOG, picks it up and expertly scans the contents. Computers (desk or laptop) are too cumbersome for secrecy. Nobody can hide an attempt to keep WOGs away from them.

The iPad is different. In its little rubber case (SO bdsm!)it sits stylishly in the crook of a man's hand as he meanders around the home. She loves it because, frankly, your average Ashley is anything but stylish, and a WOG loves stylishness. Ashley can carry his filthy cargo with impunity because it's disguised as a pointless man-toy.

The iPad is a philandery enabler. The size and resolution of its screen makes those sordid phone movies into real porn and that makes the iPad the ultimate wank-companion. Ashley ain't gonna leave that one lying around.

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