Let them eat coke

While listening to the soothing tones of bof-god Melvyn on radio bof this morning, a report leaps from the pages of the newspaper with "oh dear" written all over it. The government is launching a campaign to warn of the dangers of cocaine. Thankfully, it's cocaine use they talk about, rather than cocaine abuse: the BOF has never understood how it is that a drug which is designed to be stuffed up the nose is being abused when it's stuffed up the nose. But then the spluttering starts. 

This campaign is aimed at 15- to 18-year-olds, and what BOF wants to know is HOW CAN THEY AFFORD IT? After considerable thought (about 2 minutes) he comes to an inescapable conclusion: the only bullseyes on this target are the over-privileged denizens of South Kensington Night Clubs. You know the ones - famous, rich parents, double-barrelled surnames, stupid first names, often a German connection. 

The government has got it wrong. These people have to be culled. Their drawling presence is a constant irritant to any self-respecting bof. So let them eat coke.