Time Out is time wasted (from Bofski)

So you want to go to the cinema. You pick up Time Out. The only listings magazine that actually prints instructions on How To Use Listings. That should be a warning. OK so you check the film reviews. I fancied Belle Toujours.  (Who wouldn’t?) It’s even got a red star for Critic’s Choice.

 Cool. 

“For an index of venues. Please see below each review”. Beneath Belle Toujours no hint of where it might be playing appeared. The reviewer gave himself a credit. Thanks WH. 

OK. Don’t panic. I’ll just search through Central Cinemas til I find it. (Thanks Time Out for including Twickenham, Putney, Clapham & Kilburn here; has anyone told Boris?) Sad to relate Belle Toujours wasn’t actually listed as playing anywhere. Bastardos. Then there’s the film’s actual listings. You try to decipher “From Thur. 3.10,6.00,8.50; from Fri:12.20” 

WHAT A MESS. Grow up Time Out and get your act together. It can’t be that difficult, however hard you make it appear. By the way, I had to sit through over two hours of the CIA out-foxing and out-shooting the entire Arab world in Body of Lies, instead of seeing something halfway (in)decent.