Wednesday 3 December 2008

Sky really is the limit

Football commentators are, by nature, bofs. It's a prerequisite of the job with all those facts and figures and unpronounceable names combining to make any self-respecting old fart fling furious obscenities  at the flickering screen. And, yes, the BOF is back on statistics - but this time he's suggesting a new game to counter the tedium of the commentary. 

There's a lummox by the name of Andy Gray whose hibernian drone forms the background to many a weekend in the Sky. The BOF would be the FIRST TO ADMIT that Gray was once a fine figure of a footballer. But that was then.

He has become the I-me man. The BOF started to count the number of times Gray used the personal pronouns on Sunday. He had to give up after three minutes, realising that this was something for the professional number crunchers. A clicker was called for, and a clicker shall be found. 

Until that time, a call goes out to all true bofs to do their bit for meaningless statistics. Give us the numbers. Get that thumb clicking away and post your findings here. We'll call it Gray's a-me-nity. 


Anonymous said...

what's football?

Respect and kisses, Boris.

Little Caesar said...

Sky, it seems, is not the sole repository of the footy BOFs. Eg Lawrenson. Not only is he a BOF, but also a VOD (Voice of Doom) - and he has a crap haircut; Hansen - BOF + MOC (Master of Conceit); Shearer - BOF + WLTBTSOTTBHGTGTT (Would Like to be the Saviour of the Toon but has'nt got the the Guts). Lineker - while not yet a fully paid-up BOF, is showing encouraging signs of becoming one.

I would'nt want them any other way. Except Gray - I would'nt want him at all. Redknapp jr. too. His wife is far too pretty.

BOF said...

Hey Little Caesar - good to see you here. Where've I seen you before - 606, somewhere like that?